India is undergoing a trajectory of rapid economic growth, manifesting high consumption patterns, new economic opportunities and upward mobility. Marriage and family, pre-eminent institutions in the personal lives of peoples in most societies, also connect closely with the economy and other processes. However, while economic changes are being extensively researched, concurrent social changes in India have not received the scholarly attention they deserve. Demographic trends, intra- and inter-country migration, economic shifts and processes as well as political, particularly gender struggles are altering the marriage landscape in cultures and societies across the globe.
"A relationship is a partnership, an alliance, not some game with winners and losers. When the interaction in a relationship becomes a power struggle about who is right and who is wrong then there are no winners." – Anonymous.
The Indian subcontinent has historically been home to a wide variety of wedding systems. Some were unique to the region, such as Swayamvara (which was rooted in the historical Vedic religion and had a strong hold in popular culture because it was the procedure used by Rama and Sita). In a swayamvara, the girl's parents broadcast the intent of the girl to marry and invited all interested men to be present in a wedding hall on a specific date and time. The girl, who was also often given some prior knowledge about the men or was aware of their general reputation, would take a round of the hall and indicate her choice by garlanding the man she wanted to marry. Sometimes the father of the bride would arrange for a competition among the suitors, such as a feat of strength, to help in the selection process. Another variant was the Gandharva marriage, which involved simple mutual consent between a man and a woman based on mutual attraction and no rituals or witnesses. The marriage of Dushyanta and Shakuntala was an example of this marriage.
Commonly in urban areas and increasingly in rural parts, parents now arrange for marriage-ready sons and daughters to meet with multiple potential spouses with an accepted right of refusal. These arranged marriages are effectively the result of a wide search by both the girl's family and the boy's family. Child marriages are also in steady decline and deemed unlawful in India (with legal age of marriage at 21 years for men and 18 years for women), so the term marriage now increasingly refers to marriages between consenting adults well past the age of sexual maturity.
It is increasingly common in India for a couple that has met by themselves and are involved romantically to go through the process of an arranged marriage with that specific partner in mind. Since arranged marriages result in a deep meshing and unification of extended families and are believed to contribute to marital stability, many couples orchestrate their marriages with each other through the processes of an arranged marriage. These marriages are often referred to as "self-arranged marriages" or "love-cum-arranged marriages" in India.
- Aditya Singh
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*Aditya Singh is the Chairman and Managing Director of Alexis Group, a youth-led international conglomerate. He can be reached at aditya@alexis.org.in
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